Everybody has a story, and on today’s episode, James and Phoebe explore why authentically sharing yours is so important to what you do! James admits that he has gotten by for 9 years without telling others much of his own story, but whenever and wherever you speak to others, the audience will be asking themselves why you do what you do. For this reason, your story becomes a powerful context that can entertain, educate and ultimately put all of their questions to rest.
“When you get clarity on (your) story, you get clarity on why you do what you do”
Although Phoebe hasn’t been broke or homeless, she’s suffered losses and personal heartbreak in a different way that allows her to connect with others.
When selling, online especially, you need to share your truth so you can build that “know, like and trust” factor that is needed with others.
James realized that him minimizing his story is actually part of his story, and he figured out why he was doing that, which in turn has become a big part of his story as well.
There are questions and prompts you can ask yourself, which will help you uncover your authentic story:
- How did I learn to survive?
- When did I actually start living?
- What was this defining moment?
To answer these questions, you have to take a step back and look at the big picture that is your life, all of the events, and string them together to discover the meaning.
James grew up with the belief that image and reputation was everything, as a result of his family being in real estate in a small community. He was giving other people’s opinions so much power that in high school he made himself “invisible.”
In his 20’s, he came to realize how small he was playing by having a personal brand, but still trying to be invisible at the same time. He found out though that everyone he was afraid was judging him was just as scared of the same thing happening to them.
As a follow up question to “How did I learn to survive,” you can ask yourself what has been the impact of that survival mechanism. What is the negative consequence and what does that keep you from?
From a young age Phoebe was taught not to show emotions because they are a sign of weakness. Her defining moment was her dad passing away when she was 18 years old. The messages she told herself was that the people that you trust and love the most will always leave you. She survived by not trusting people, or letting them into her life, which eventually led to her appeasing and caring for people so much so they would love her and wouldn’t end up leaving.
James believes that we often don’t tell our story, or minimize it, because we’re trying to hide a piece of who we are. We’re afraid that if we share that, something bad will happen. However, it’s in the revealing of this that we can have the deepest connection with others.
If you’re in the personal brand space, your story is so essential. Don’t make the mistake of minimizing it!
The Power of Believing In Others by Dan Martell (YouTube)