In this episode, James and Phoebe talk about the magical power of listening, and the clues it can uncover about the language you use! Often you can’t see what’s happening around you, or have the right perspective on things. An outsider can see things more clearly, as he or she is detached from the situation.
We all have blind spots, which shows a lack of awareness and uncertainty as to why we haven’t gotten what we’ve wanted in life. Our language can help us identify these blind spots.
James says the answer is often in your language, but only if you’re willing to listen. If you want to get “unstuck”, it’s not about filling your head with more content.
“We know nothing but our lens, perception and experience of our life”
Because of an experience with a coach at a mastermind event, James realized he had been afraid to ask affiliates to promote him, just from the language he used.
“It’s forever altered the way I can look at my business now”
Every time Phoebe says the phrase, “I don’t know”, she has a friend call her out on it by stating, “You do know.”
4 action items you can do to bring the power of effective listening to your awareness:
1) Practice listening to others
Isolate the words the person is using and wait until he or she is finished speaking. If you’re on the phone with the person, you can write down what is being said, think about it and wait a few seconds before responding. This exercise will train you to listen to what you are saying as well.
2) Identify what you really want and write down all the reasons you haven’t done it
Look at the words you use, because the language will give you clues. That thing, or things, that’s keeping you from what you want will most likely be showing up in other areas of your life.
3) Start to notice your complaints
Your complaints will be a huge indicator of your beliefs and what’s holding you back.
4) Go to the people closest to you and see how they would describe you if you weren’t in the room
This can be a difficult exercise, but it will get you to understand how people see you and how important we make those perspectives. You’ll start to see how much of our own lives are controlled by the opinions and judgements of others.